Mind Games: Using the figureoutable philosophy to win at life
Few books like Marie Forleo’s, “Everything is Figureoutable”, have almost brought me to tears. Marie’s raw and no-holds-bar approach to communication shines in her heart-wrenching promise to introduce a life philosophy that delivers a knockout punch to everything (real or imaginary) that holds you back. It delivers on that promise. Allow me to explain…
It starts with a belief…
We only use 10% of our brains…
I’m not good at maths…
We can’t swim in our family…
I was fortunate to grow up believing that a CAN-DO spirit was necessary to succeed in life. But that statement is a bit misleading as it somehow sounds like I was born with that belief. Where do our beliefs come from? Do our beliefs serve us? Or are they other people’s belief systems (BS) that we have inherited?
No one is born with any beliefs. All beliefs are learned.
Marie’s quote above is profound as it suggests that just as we learn various limiting beliefs we can — which often do not serve us, we can unlearn them and choose our beliefs. Beliefs that empower us to achieve our goals. Beliefs that get us excited and help unleash our inner potential. “Everything is figureoutable” is this fundamental belief that Marie proposes, it actually needs no explanation but Marie still manages to give life stories and examples of how this simple idea has transformed the lives of many people.
Belief systems are critical as they shape our reality. Imagine telling yourself every day: “I can’t pass this exam. It’s too (insert excuse/lie/limiting belief here)”… trust me, chances are that you won't. After serving me well for years, I realized that learning about the CAN-DO spirit back in High School helped un-limit a lot of my potential in life. Just by changing one letter, “can’t” becomes “can” and, call it mind games, but doing so gives your mind permission to figure out whatever seems to be holding you back. My brain coach Jim Kwik has a profound quote:
Learn to doubt your doubts
and even one better:
If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them
Thoughts (and dreams) are things…
Without a dream, life becomes a chore. Dreams give us the ability and opportunity to imagine a future where we desire to belong. Thoughts can then be considered as the stories we constantly form in our minds about our dreams, goals and aspirations (or fears). I heard the quote growing up:
If you keep you goals before you each day, they are certain to become a reality
Now, to see the power of thoughts, substitute goals in the quote for *dreams*, *thoughts*, *aspirations* and *fears*. For the longest time, I had no idea what this meant but allowed it to become part of my belief system- only for me to wake up one morning and realize that I literally kept sticky notes of my goals beside my bed (anyone that knows me can testify to my addiction to stickies)- and the fact that I saw these goals every day helped keep my life in perspective and has greatly helped me stay focused even in very trying times. In fact, I would argue that most of my low points (think times of confusion, setbacks, rejections etc.) were directly or indirectly a consequence of lack of focus- but hindsight is 20–20 right?
The point is that dreams (and goals) give you much-needed direction. In the storms and turbulence of life — a clear-cut direction is one of the most essential parts of perseverance, which anyone who has achieved anything worthwhile can tell you for free, is a major key to success. Paraphrasing from a popular quote by Yogi Berra:
If you don't know where you are going, you're never going to get there
Consider this, which is more real — the thoughts in Issac Newton’s mind that gravity exists, or gravity? If you consider this long enough, you start to realize (one possible answer) which is that without Newton’s thoughts, the reality of gravity may never have been unravelled. So in some sense, when we think about gravity, that thought — Newton’s thought is even more real than the phenomena we have come to take for granted. In fact, this thought is so real that every one of us studied this at some point in our lives, however agonising or enjoyable that may have been.
In Everything is Figureoutable, Marie goes on to establish several connections between thought and reality- while giving concrete and actionable tools to overcome fears, find your dreams and stay focused on progress — not perfection.
NO is a suggestion. Not an answer…
As an adult, one of the most helpful attitudes you can have, asides a positive outlook on life, is the ability to take feedback constructively. Life comes at you- so how do you respond to failures, negative feedback and setbacks? Not everyone is emotionally intelligent enough to give constructive feedback, so are you able to look beyond the person’s BS (belief systems :)) and honestly ask yourself what you could do better? As Marie puts it herself:
When it comes to critical feedback, don’t be so fragile that you miss out on information that can help you to learn and improve.
Or simply:
Use what helps, leave the rest
This friends, is the key to failing forward. Understanding that NO is someone else’s opinion can help build your mental fortitude and resilience- making it more likely for you to win at life, where often, fortune favours the bold. The key here is that at a very fundamental level, everyone gets negative feedback. We have all heard about inventors trying things 1000 times before that worked out but one thing that must be appreciated is the fact that they kept going. Have you ever stopped to wonder why? Why do they keep going, rejection after rejection, failure after failure? To oversimplify — it's because the journey for them was worth as much as the goal. The journey was the goal. This is a mindset that few discover- but ultimately is the path to success and Mastery (more on this later).
Everything is Figureoutable is one of those books that you actually can’t do justice to without experiencing, nay living for yourself. Marie ends that book with Why the world needs you, and I would like to end this on that note also.
There is only one YOU in the world. YOU are special, and YOU can make a difference.
